It’th all in a name

When I was very titchy, I used to have a lisp. With a surname like Stocks, my parents rightly recognised such a speech impediment would result in much teasing at school and eventually put me off ever speaking aloud.

To encourage/bribe me to keep my tongue from flapping out of my mouth whenever I said a word with an ‘s’ in it, my mum and dad promised me a pet if I managed to speak lisplessly.

The test was to be able to say ‘Santa likes sizzling sausages, especially on toast’, and I practiced for hours until I got it right and was taken to pick out two gerbils.

Being five and not really aware of lisp-based irony, I decided to call my new little friend Snowy. Here’s a pic of me, Sissy Joanne and the gerbils (yes, that is a satin top Joanne’s wearing and no, I haven’t looked as sinister since):

Joanne, Caroline and gerbils

Partly in protest of being squeezed so hard her little eyes bulged but largely, no doubt, because I’d bestowed such a crap name upon her, moments after this photo was taken Snowy bit my finger.

I’m not sure how something so tiny managed to draw so much blood from my hand, but it did – and I never dared go near Snowy or her sister, Honey (Joanne had even worst taste in names than I did), ever again.

Call me a susperstitious fruitcake, but my gerbil experience has taught me that picking a name – whether for a pet, a blog or a business – is incredibly important (as I’m sure Mrs Wiggly Wigglers would tell you). So for that reason, I am turning to you to help me pick the name of the latest addition to my household (he’s not dead, he’s just sleeping. Honest):


Previous residents of the tank have been named Henry, Seigfried and Ezra, and his current tankmate is called Arlo, so bear in mind I don’t go for soppy names like Goldie, Chips or Flipper.

It’s over to you…

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3 Responses to “It’th all in a name”

  1. Sproglet


    My next pet will be called Poopie McSquidge.

    It’s probably a good reason for me never to have another pet

  2. Crispin Moor

    Looks like a Brunhilde to me. Or maybe a Fatima? Or perhaps Felicity (that would be fortunate) … last one, Fernando?

  3. Honest John

    You’ve got Arlo, so why not call the other one Woody as in Guthrie?