A spoon full of Sugar…

There’s something quite surreal about being guided to a toilet by a baroness and then listening to her chat about WC fixtures and fittings while she stands watching you wash your hands.

The very lovely Baroness Hazel Byford played host to the Nuffield Scholar Crew (can’t decide if ‘posse’ or ‘gang’ works better than crew – suggestions please) at the House of Lords today.

I’ve never been in the Lords, so it was quite exciting to go in, even if we did only listen to a debate on higher education.

It’s dead fancy in there – much better than the plain old Commons. I’m not sure whether the carpet designer should still be in a job (how do you find a wallpaper to go with yellow lions, red flowers and blue splotches?), but someone has done a smashing job with a load of gold leaf.

Queenie’s throne is definitely something to behold, even if there was a random old lord fast asleep on a chair in front of it.
You’ll never guess who wandered into the debate though. Here’s a clue *leans across table, points, frowns and speaks in a cockerny accent*: “When I sold stuff on Hackney market…. When I owned Spurs… When Amstrad used to be a decent electronics company…”

No, not Del Boy – only Alan bloomin’ Sugar. D’you know what? He’s dead titchy. They must employ some fancy-pants camera angles on the Apprentice to make him look normal-sized. Wonder if I can find out what they in time for next week’s noos revoo

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