Why udder cream didn’t work

For those of you who have suffered my tales of back woe on Twitter (and for my mum, who can somehow find her way onto my blog but not to an email inbox) I thought you might be mildly interested to see these pictures.

I’ve seen several doctors and physios over the past couple of years after I picked up a handbag and something cracked in my shoulder, leaving me unable to do anything but lie on the floor.

Since then I have tried bathing in emu fat (apparently an aboriginal remedy for painful joints and muscles), while the very lovely DiggerEd sent me some of this stuff to see if the liniment in it helped ease the pain:

Udder cream

It seemed agricultural solutions didn’t rectify the problem, so I finally took myself to an osteopath last week, who x-rayed my back. Here are the results:

Dodgy neck

On the left, the way a normal person’s neck should look. On the right, my mangled, wonky neck, which is apparently reminiscent of a 50-year-old’s.

And it gets worse. Apparently I have a curved spine too. Check this out:

Dodgy spine
Snazzy, hey? Mr Geography reckons it’s down to dodgy genetics, but I’m blaming it on slaving away over a hot laptop at FW Towers. I’ve already got a list of what I want to achieve from my extended Nuffield travels, but now I can add back pain relief to it. Roll on leaving my desk behind…

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