Look, look – legs!
After two weeks of having to cover them up and being ferried around all the time by drivers, I’d almost forgotten I had a pair of these. Not that I’m one for flashing flesh, but it was so nice to get to Singapore this morning and dress a bit more comfortably for the heat.
Anyway, you’ll be no doubt pleased to know I didn’t just include a photo of my pasty pins for gratuitous purposes. Have a look at the picture again. Go on, look especially closely at my feet.
What do you mean, they’re just a couple of dodgy-looking, stubby-toed, Hobbit feet? I paid $30 to stick these in a bucket of fish for half an hour, y’know – that’s as good as these babies are gonna get.
I didn’t put them in a bucket of dead fish, you understand. That would be weird. No, the little fellas were alive and flipping, and apparently hungry for dead toe skin. The idea is they smooth and soothe your feet – something I needed after a long day walking around Singapore.
I love Singapore. Yes, it’s a place obviously developed purely for parting tourists from their cash as they make a two or three-day stop off on the way to Australia, but it’s just so nice and clean. It has pavements and roads and a policing system so strict that if you aim incorrectly in a public toilet you get fined. Can you imagine? They’d have a bloomin’ fit if they went to India.
Anyway, I had a smashing day wandering around China-town, checking out some temples:
And eventually (via maybe just one mall), I ended up at the Singapore Flyer, the world’s largest observation wheel. I won’t bore you with the photos here. Needless to say, I took a lot.
At the exit to the wheel is the Kenko fish spa – home to a load of tiddly-little Turkish fish who promise to turn your feet into softened things of beauty. Or something like that, the translation board in the salon was a bit ropey. Anyway, I thought I’d embrace my touristy side and give it a go.
It wasn’t an unpleasant experience, but neither was it the nicest feeling. It was kind of like a bad case of pins and needles, or a continuous mild electric shock for 30 minutes. I’m not sure my fishy friends managed to exfoliate my feet too well either – they still look as dodgy as ever. They did manage to fetch a scab off my leg though, so I had to walk home with blood trickling down my leg, paranoid that every mosquito in a five-mile radious was heading my way.
I’m not sure why I’m sharing this much detail with you. This post’s gone from bad to worse, hasn’t it…. To completely finish you off, here’s photo of my toes and legs being eaten alive. Enjoy.